Kisser, Keeper, or just plain Desperate?

Alright ... I'm gonna be honest and tell on myself ... On Sunday nights, after a long day in class and the pulpit, I veg out on the couch and watch "Mindless TV"! Usually the TV is watching me (LOL). However I have managed to watch a few early episodes of "Desparate Housewives" ... Yeah, I know, but you've got your show too, now dont't ya! I have noticed that each character has some charater flaws and traits that are worth mentioning.

Let's refresh the characters on the Show …  First there is the fickle, people pleaser, and can’t seem to keep a man. Next the ever so controlling, insecure,  perfectionist. Then there is the self centered, materialistic,  prima-donna. Of course the domineering, corporate ladder climbing, frustrated business woman. (These folk sound like people you know?)

What they all share in common, besides Bridge and Tea parties, is that fact that each week they find themselves in “Desperate” situations where choices are made that have an adverse affect on their lives and the lives of those around them.

The fact that life creates some desperate situations is no surprise … the fact that these situations require solutions is also no surprise … what matters is what we do when we are faced with them ... Are you a Kisser or a Keeper?
Let's get a CLUE...

In the biblical book of Ruth we are introduced to three women who share something in common. A single thread weaves them together in the fact that with the loss of their husbands they are vulnerable, at risk, and susceptible to mistreatment in a male dominated society. Due to this fact, Naomi made a wise decision to return to her place of origin, the land of Judah. This decision became the origin of stress … it made an already stressful situation (the fact that they had lost their husbands) even more so. Now the two maidens were forced to consider leaving their current place of abode and return with Naomi to a place that meant nothing to them (it was Naomi’s home). They were faced with a life changing decision that once made would affect them for the rest of their lives.  What can we learn from these women that will assist us in our Desperate situations? The book of Ruth sets up a classroom environment conducive to learning several lessons … among them are lessons in Leadership and Discipleship.

Let's start with a lesson in Leadership … Naomi was a Leader. A true leader has care and concern for others needs. She knew the plight before them so she directed her daughters to return to their homes. She assured them that God will surely deal kindly with them. She knew that God would grant them to find “rest” i.e. security. She gave candid and clear-cut information ... she kept it real … didn’t sugar coat it. She knew that sooner or later they would faint and wain due to thier "human-ness." She said, "Look I am old, I have no more sons, if I did you wouldn’t wait for them!" Our Lord Jesus was candid and clear. Think of the conversations he had with the following:

§  Woman at the well … you’ve had five husbands

§  Rich young man … sell what you have, give to the poor

§  To multitudes … if you love mother/father more than me …

§  To his disciples … they will persecute you

§  To disciples … the way to greatness is service

Like Jesus and his leaders of that day, Leaders today must be candid and clear! Say what you mean and mean it!

Let's take a lesson in Discipleship … Ruth would become a Learner (one who conforms his words, thoughts, and actions to that of his master/leader). One thing a disciple does is commit to new Leadership. She was heard to say" Wherever you go, I will go … lodge, I will lodge". This meant committing to a new lifestyle, new people, new concepts, etc. She willingly committed herself to Naomi's world. Christians are "called out of the world"! Our leader is Jesus ... we are his disciples committed HIs words, thoughts, and actions!

Now the other young lady, Orpah would eventually become a Loser . She Went back to ‘her’ people! Bad move ... there's nothing like God’s People ... Her people couldn’t save her ... Her people had no relationship with the true God. Today, people make the grave mistake of putting ‘their people’ before God i.e. relatives, spouses, children, friends, etc … Orpah put her people over God’s people, they had more influence over her than Naomi did, she was a “friend” of the world! She went back to ‘her’ gods. Today, people make the mistake and forsake God Almighty for false gods: False gods of: money, power, jobs, people worship. You always lose when you turn away from God! She had an opportunity but passed it up. She may have been a good person, but you always lose without God!

Let me conclude by saying that in every walk of life, there are at least two types of people … the "Kissers" like Orpah, and the "Keepers" like Ruth (1:14). It’s the kissers that more often find themselves in “Desperate” situations. The Keepers have committed themselves to the cause and will not let go! They “cleave”.  The “Kissers”, are there for a while, but when the going gets rough and uncertain, they will “kiss” you goodbye in a Desperate minute! Which one are you?

You've been CLUEd!

Listen to your Father ...

On an episode of the iconic “Sanford and son” (The Card Sharps, a 1972 episode), Lamont gets involved in a card game with three shady characters. Fred quickly recognizes that these dudes are about to take advantage of his grown, but somehow childish son! Now Fred, like Lucy of I Love Lucy, had a particular knack for getting into the most humorous and idiotic situations (sitcom), but many times, they were able to come out shining. This time the egg would be on Lamont’s face … if he didn’t heed the voice of his father. Fred tries with comedic acumen to keep Lamont from playing a losing hand … dealt with marked cards, but his antics fail. The hand is played, the other guys win, Lamont is broke i.e. a “Broke Dummy” according to Fred! He should have listened! Well, he didn’t. Now it was time for “Father knows best”! He sends Lamont out on an errand and turns the tables on those “Card Sharps”. You know the “G” in Fred G. Sanford stands for “Gambler” right?! Well, by the time he gets back, Lamont’s “friends” are speeding away with empty pockets and embarrassed feelings! The look on Lamont’s face says it all “Gee, I should have listened to pops!”

Let’s get a CLUE …

Proverbs 1:8a “Listen, my son, to your father's instruction” (NIV)

The book of Proverbs is written to instruct the young (man), the kings, and all leaders. Elements for these can be found throughout the book. The writer was not interested in the status quo but with the receiving of wisdom and in the getting of “understanding”. He knew that the acquiring the “principal thing” would go farther than any degree, fame, or fortune that one could amass in a life time.

The key verse in the book: Proverbs 4:7 “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (KJV)

In today’s world the father or father figure is an enigma to many, but rest assured that the father is alive and well among us! God’s word declares that the father is to be the central figure in the home, a leader of his family, and a staple in the community. He was to be listened to (Prov. 4:1), He was to correct (Prov. 3:12), He was not to be cursed (Prov. 20:20), and He was to be considered even when the son made friends (Prov. 28:7). We have traveled light years from that standard in some circles, but among God’s people, the father still strives!

You may not know or have an earthly father to share this coming Father’s Day with … perhaps he has been selected to go on ahead of you to enter the rest from his labors. Maybe you have an estranged relationship with him. That’s reality. However, an even greater reality is the relationship you can and hopefully do have with your Heavenly Father. That relationship never ends, not in this life or in the next. Every day with God is Father’s Day because every day he provides, protects, and is present … always. 

What does the Heavenly Father want? He wants what all fathers want … to be listened to! To be taken seriously. To be honored and respected, not because He knows it all, because he’s your Father! Lamont should’ve listened to his father. He would’ve been much happier many of the times … but he often didn’t. We should listen to our heavenly Father. He cares for us. He prepares for us. He is there for us! Now, I don’t think our Father in heaven would ever call us a “Broke Dummy” … but when I think of all the times I didn’t listen to him, I sure felt like one! I’m thankful for my Heavenly Father’s grace, mercy, and longsuffering! Thank God for fathers. Thank God for … God!

You have the CLUE!

Wait a minute ... Say What?

I recently picked up a little hymnal at church; you know the supplemental ones we “make” ourselves from other song books or borrow with credit from others?! Well, some of you know what I mean! LOL. As I casually flipped through the pages, a very old but familiar song caught my attention. Not so much the song, but a phrase from the song. The song was “It’s gonna rain”. I’ve heard sung by church choirs, on the radio, on TV, even preached in sermons. The phrase is “It’s gonna rain, it’s gonna rain, you’d better get ready and bear this in mind …” Wait a minute “bear this in mind”? Who put that in there!? That’s not right! It should be “better send mind”! Right?! I asked a few people, their response was yes “bear this in mind” (however I think they googled itJ). I asked a few more and they like myself said yeah … better ... send mind … (I could visualize the perplexed looks on their faces when they wrote it out). Sure enough though, those are the words “bear this in mind”. Hmmmm. I guess when you think of it, there are several words and phrases that are commonly mispronounced such as:

Acrossed instead of Across

Affidavid instead of Affidavit

Antartic instead of Antarctic

Bidness instead of Business

Blessing in the skies instead of Blessing in disguise

Card shark instead of Cardsharp

Doggy dog world instead of Dog-eat-dog world

And one of my favorites … Forte instead of Fort (look it up J)

So I asked myself, “how did it come to happen that after all these years of hearing and in some cases singing something, did I have it all wrong (or most of it anyway)? Let’s get a CLUE …

One thing that I’ve learned as a leader is that all too often, people will listen to and follow your instructions and directions, not so much because they are correct, but because they believe you to be correct. They believe that you have done your homework; put the necessary think time in; used the best resources at your disposal to come to the heavy conclusions you come to, etc. For the most part I agree that leaders should be given credit for their knowledge, expertise, and competence in their specialty. But it is also up to followers to really do what followers do … follow. I mean, follow the example of the leader. If he or she studies profusely, take the initiative to develop good study habits as well. If the leader is steeped in research and analysis, show your due diligence as well. The leader’s job is to “feed and lead” but it is the follower’s job to take in and digest it properly. Too often however, the followers knowledge base begins and ends with and only with, the dominate thought of the leader and very few times does he seek out for the meaning himself. Like with the song, he just listens, takes in, and assumes that is what it says even if it doesn’t make sense. Do you think “better send mind” makes sense … really? One person commented that they thought that it was something the old folks said that had some meaning that they were too young to understand. One thing that God has blessed each of us with is a mind with a billion or brain cells floating around in there. Let’s not be afraid to aks – ask - J some questions from time to time to see if what is said is really what is said. As leaders it is always our tasks to be clear, lucid, unambiguous, and explanatory. Make sure your people hear, read, and understand! And followers, before you repeat anything, sing anything, or teach anything, make sure you know what’s what.

You’ve been CLUEd

What’s below the surface!

Ok, I don’t have a green thumb! I think it’s sorta brownish in color! LOL! Well, anyway, there’s a tree in my front yard that didn’t grow any leaves this season. Not unusual for this tree because for some reason it doesn’t always have leaves like the other trees around us. Finally my Dear One (that’s my wife) says “you know that tree is dead right!?” I thought, “how can it really be dead when it’s still standing, it just didn’t grow leaves this year, right?” So after closer examination I noticed that although the bark was still covering the tree, it was brittle and easily pulled away. I also notice several, what appeared to be “tracks”, just under the surface of the bark. It looked as if an artist had used precise tools to form an intricate design on the wood to create a piece of fine art. Oh but no! There is no artist here … how about wood-eating-disgusting-ugly bugs! Their MO appears to be to covertly enter the untreated tree, work methodically under the surface (uninterrupted), and (although the outer bark did show signs of sickness) sap all the life out of the tree from within! By the time you notice it (unless you got that green thumb thing goin on) it’s a little too late! The damage is done! The tree is all but ready to be pulled out of the ground and made into a bench! My analogy is not hard to comprehend, but let me be clear … the same thing can happen within our lives! Let’s get a CLUE!

Prov 4:23 says “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

An untreated heart is set on a path of destruction. When we allow sin and evil into our hearts and leave it unchecked, just like the tree, it will begin to do irreparable damage from within! On the surface you may look well and healthy, but under the surface is where the problem is! Tracks of hatred, envy, strife, jealousy, bitterness, and plan ole sin make their way throughout your whole body! And like the biblical disease Leprosy, by the time it shows up, it’s already been working under the surface of the skin for too long! (Leviticus 14)  There are a few ways in which you the leader, parent, head of Christian organization, etc can “keep” your heart pure. After all, if you the leader work on your heart it will in most cases have positive effect on your followers, members, family, etc.

1.       Watch what goes in. Ps 101:3-5 3 I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all crooked dealings; I will have nothing to do with them.  4 I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil.  5 I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors. I will not endure conceit and pride. (NLT)

2.       Monitor what comes out. Matt 15:19 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. (KJV)

3.       Welcome necessary changes. Ps 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (KJV)

So many of the “issues” of life that we struggle with can be traced to a lack of “keeping our hearts” with all diligence! Like my tree, our hearts must be treated with a continued dose of spiritual insecticide … and the best I’ve found is none other than God’s word, the Bible!

You’ve been CLUEd!

A Tribute to Mother!

On Mother’s Day we recognize and celebrate the woman we call Mother. It is our privilege to do so. Let us be mindful of the fact that God Almighty, in His boundless wisdom has so declared that the one we call mother should be honored and held in the highest regard and esteem. Thus the bible says “Eph 6:2, 3
"Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." (NIV)

God attached an incidental promise of life and wellness to the commandment to honor her. If we are wise we would listen and conform to the wisdom from above. For the mother is the backbone of the home; the mother is the foundation of the family; the mother is the crowned jewel of our lives. So we pause and in the name of Jesus we say “Thank you”. Thank you for all you have done, are doing, and will do.

Thank you for your undying love and never ending care. We thank you for standing up so that we could sit down … we thank you for holding your tongue so that we could speak our minds … we thank you for sleepless nights so that we could rest … we thank you for being our comfort when we were hurting … we thank you for being our peace in the midst of our confusion … we thank you for your sacrifice in the midst of our situations … Yes, mother, momma, nana, and ma … we thank you and love you with the Love of God! You protected us from the bully’s on the block … you held our hand as we traveled through the traffic … you picked us up when our pipe dreams exploded … you laid our heads across your lap when the death angel approached and took our loved ones. And like Superwoman, you exposed yourself to the kryptonite's of life in order to prevent any harm or danger from defeating us.

Yes, as God is our witness, we must honor her … we must love her … we must admire her … we must pay tribute to her.

And Father God, we thank you for your kind care and consideration for the feeble beings that we are, to not only send your only begotten Son, but to provide us with a bosom of blessedness … one who wipes our earthly tears and mends our earthly bruises … one whose acceptance is endless and whose commitment is continual ... We thank you for Mother!

You've been CLUEd!

Are you growing?

Choices, life is about choices. We choose a certain path which leads to a destination - the one we hoped for if we're lucky. Many of us started on a path to the ever illusive “better life” just over four months ago at the beginning of the year. We pledged to: lose weight,  go back to school, get a better job, leave that draining relationship, become better financial managers, “etc, etc, etc” (as Yul would say - you know that cool bald dude from The King and I). Here’s a question, “How many of you have accomplished or even started to work toward your goals?” I’ll got first … One of my goals was "personal growth." As a minister, I preach constantly on themes concerning spiritual and emotional growth. Even though I preach it, I have to continue to push myself toward my personal goals and excellence, and I often need to stop, look, listen, and learn as well. Note to leaders: Even though others may think you’ve got it all “knowed” up, we know better! There must always be that little voice inside of you that says “keep digging, keep stretching, keep climbing, and keep helping others to do the same.  After all, God didn't just plant us where He did to vegetate!  He wants, desires, and expects us to grow – all of us! Part of my personal growth "track" has been these blog articles. I have dedicated a portion of my week to express myself and challenge others ... to grow. I made a "choice" to pursue what is an important component of my journey.  What of yours? How are you on your journey?  Only you know.

Let’s get a CLUE...                                             

A look at the picture above would lead you to believe that the taller plant was planted before the smaller one. That assumption would be wrong.  They were both planted the same day ... the same time ... by the same person. (One of my sons’ science projects) The difference was light - yes LIGHT.

The taller plant was placed under a constant intense light/lamp during the day. The smaller plant was placed on a window seal on the side of the house where the sun only shines part of the day, and then shines only through the clouds in early spring. The planter of the seeds made a conscious decision or choice to grow them that way.

In life, the planter (God) planted you/us in a certain place for a certain reason, of which He and He alone knows. The one constant about is that it was He did the planting for his glory!  We make a crucial mistake when we compare our personal growth with others. If you’re life (plant) is not as tall as mine or vice versa, that is not a cause for dissention, discouragement, and disappointment. After all, it’s personal. God may have planted you in an area where it takes a little extra diligence on your part to experience the growth you desire. You may be the smaller plant for the moment but know and believe that the growth is not only possible but on its way! You may have to work harder, sleep less, prepare better, or beg God to move you to the other side of the house that gets the constant light - hey it’s worth a shot! LOL

The point to remember is that each of us was planted with care by the best caregiver in the universe, and however we grow; it should be to His glory! He planted us with the intention of us growing. Some grow quicker with great intensity ... some a little slower with less fervor, but the result should be the same - growth. Do what you can do to place yourself on a growing track towards personal growth and excellence (this includes praying for a better situation) and leave the rest to God!

You've been CLUEd

Sometimes you want to get away!

Sometimes you just want to “Get a way … Leave today … yeah-yeah-yeah!” (EW&F reference –LOL). What about “burn-out”? Ever feel like just turning in the keys, not showing up, or just driving away! Yes, we have all been there … most of us anyway. The pressures of life, leadership, and “living” can get the best of any of us. There are times we feel like Elijah when he felt it necessary to get away …

1 Kings 19:3-4

3 And when he saw that, he arose, and went for his life, and came to Beer-sheba, which belongeth to Judah, and left his servant there.

4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

Elijah’s task as the faithful prophet of God ushered him into some precarious situations. First he was the bearer of bad news to the king (drought – 1 King 17:1). Then his brook dried up (1 Kings 17:17). Next he was personally blamed and called a “trouble-maker” (1 Kings 18:17). Finally he was threatened with bodily harm by the wicked Queen Jezebel! That would be enough for any of us to consider booking a flight on Southwest Airlines! Sometimes even when you have dotted all the required “I’s” and crossed the needed “Ts”, and double-checked your sources, the outcome of your obedience may cause you considerable stress on your mind, body, and spirit. The book of James reminds us that “Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are …” (James 5:17) so don’t get it twisted thinking he was somehow a superior being. No, he got depressed, discouraged, and mentally depleted much like we do at times.  Yet he was still a faithful prophet and servant of God!  Can you relate?

When you lead your family, your church, or your organization, there WILL be times when you are the bearer of bad news; you will suffer personal loss; you will be blamed (for something’s that were not your fault – 1 Kings 18:18), and there may be times when you or your livelihood are threatened! However, don’t allow these things to burden your blessings, trip-up your triumphs, or disturb your duty! One of the things God had to remind Elijah was that God knew where he was and God knew where others like him were!

"God knows where you are ... He knows where others are just like you"

God knew Elijah was in a sad, depressed, and defeated state! He knew where he was! Don’t you think God knows where you are today!? He knows you may have tried and tried but are still misunderstood. He knows that you have devoted yourself to his way of living your life but your family or children don’t seem to get it. He knows that inside you’re crying for help and you could really use a breakthrough! Not only did God know where Elijah was physically, but mentally and spiritually! Never think that God doesn’t see you, because he does! He knows where you are! God also knows where others just like you are! God had to explain to him that there were many, many others (7,000) who had stayed true to their God and His principles! Elijah, you ain’t alone! Today, you may feel that you are the only parent taking a stand to guide your children in the right path. You may feel that you are the only leader who has not sold out your position for a paycheck. You may feel that you are the only Christian in your church! Listen, God has an e-mail (Elijah-mail) with your name on it and in the subject line it reads “Son/Daughter, you are not alone!” In that same e-mail is the same message God had for Elijah: I know where you are and what you’re feeling. Don’t give up! It also says, listen, you’re not all by yourself in this thing! Now get up, get yourself back on track and “Go”! Elijah was nearing the end of his service to God (God lead him to his successor, Elisha) but until you get that message from God, you’ve got to keep on going … dust the dirt off your shoulder and keep moving!

You’re CLUEd!